Hey you! It's been awhile. I meant to post this a month or so ago, but realized I never did.
Backstory: I recently read the book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling. Madi Conrad, another BB summer intern, sent it to me & it was one of the best books I've read. Kept me laughing, brought some hilarious truths to light & left me feeling very heard, although I was the one doing the reading... Interesting, huh? I would definitely suggest it.
So why am I telling you this? Well, I wrote a blog post about the book & what it helped me to realize & understand better about myself in the process of finishing it. I was excited about the post; took quite a bit of time with it & ultimately felt proud of myself for trying writing in a new way I hadn't done before. A little thing, but a vulnerable thing at that. I shared that I am taking a year off from college to figure out what I want to do, work, & start making writing a priority. I shared the post through both Facebook & Instagram. Then the morning after publishing the post, another acquaintance posted that they had a blog they had just written on their site. Curious, I clicked on the link & began reading. The writer explained that they were angry after reading a blog of an acquaintance who felt that they were qualified enough as a writer to begin writing more seriously. That they felt this person was completely bogus for thinking this. The writer shared that the post she had read was filled with incorrect grammar & stupid ideas. Interesting. As I read my eyes filled with tears realizing that this writer was likely speaking of my most recent post. (I hope all of this is making sense.) I immediately became insecure. Was I crazy for thinking that I should take my writing more seriously? Although writing brings so much life to my living, should I give it up? Am I too stupid for this?
It's crazy to me when people feel that they need to share when they hate someone else's work. When another person feels it is their responsibility to set another straight, despite what that person might feel on the receiving end.
So here's where I'm going with all of this...
For some time now, I have let the words of others define me. This post nearly killed me. (Ok, that's dramatic, but I did feel my heart shatter a little bit.) I sat down to blog & my hands began to shake so much I couldn't type. Doubts filled my head, tears weld up in my eyes & I was broken. But why? Why do I let the thoughts & words of those who do not know my heart, who spend no time with me, have so much power in my life. What about the mom's who had nice things to say about my writing? What about my close friends who encourage me to pursue my passions? Why do those things not weigh more than the hurtful words of a girl who does not know me & just happened to be my friend on Facebook?
And maybe I really am not cut out for this writing thing; that's a huge possibility.
But hear this... There are countless reasons this world throws at us to give up...
- You're not pretty enough
- You're not skinny enough
- You don't have enough instagram followers
- You didn't go to college
- You weren't homecoming queen in high school
- You didn't get a high score on the SAT or ACT
- You would rather wear sweats and have your hair in a pony than try & wear cute outfits
- Your eyes aren't blue
- Your hair isn't shiny
- You were diagnosed with anxiety & depression
...and that's just to name a few. Maybe the world is throwing different lies at you from the ones I just listed and maybe it's not happening through a blog post. Maybe friends are saying rude things to your face. Maybe your parents don't give you the time of day. Maybe you didn't get into your dream college. Whatever the case may be for you, please believe me when I say. YOU ARE ENOUGH. You are more than enough. You are smart, kind, funny, beautiful, athletic, cool, awesome ENOUGH. Listen to the words of those who are supporting & rooting for you. Don't let the bad outweigh the good. CHOOSE to look at yourself positively. CHOOSE not to doubt when the world is begging you to give up. You are enough. I believe in you. You might think that it's not possible for a stranger to believe in you, but I fully believe that it is. Know that you have me & this whole BB team behind you, cheering you on with foam fingers & tons of megaphones. We are big fans of you. You are enough. Pursue what you love despite the opinions of those tearing you down. Choose your mood & you will change your world, my friend.